Based on the research by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, below are some rest resources categorized by the 7 Types of Rest as seen in her book "Sacred Rest".
Emotional Rest
Black Women Therapists in the NYC Area
People Pleasing Quiz
This quick 10-point quiz gives you a better sense of where you fall in the people-pleasing scale. (Adapted from The Disease to Please by Dr. Harriet Braiker)
1. I can't really take the time to relax until I finish all the things I have to do.
2. It is very difficult for me to turn down a request from a friend, family member or coworker.
3. My sense of identity is based on what I do for other people.
4. I very seldom say "no" to anyone who needs my help or wants me to do a favor.
5. On a daily basis, I almost never really feel satisfied with how much I have accomplished.
6. I am often so depleted by taking care of others that I have no time or energy left to enjoy my own life.
7. I would feel guilty if I took time to relax or just to do something pleasurable for myself.
8. I believe that nobody would really care about me if I stopped doing all the things I now do for others.
9. I almost never ask anybody to do things for me.
10. I often say "yes" when I would like to say "no" to requests from others.
How to Interpret Your Answers
If your score is between 7 and 10: You place a higher priority on pleasing others than on trying to take care of yourself. Let this self-awareness nudge you toward stronger boundaries and a more assertive approach to life. You deserve the same consideration that you give to everyone else, if for no other reason than you’ve earned it.
If your score is between 4 and 6: You should keep a careful watch to make certain you don't lose your footing on the slippery slope of niceness. You are not saying "no" to others often or selectively enough.
If your score is 3 or less: You have already figured out some of the solutions to becoming a recovered people-pleaser. Build on your strengths to say "no" and keep your own needs in balance with those of others.
Mental Rest
Physical Rest
Breathing Exercises
Sensory Rest
Aromatherapy Suggestions
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Sacred Frankincense — Helps you know your purpose in life. Promotes feelings of acceptance and love.
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Sandalwood — Warms the emotions. Quiets the mental chatter of the mind. Aids in meditation and spiritual contemplation.
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Lemon — Uplifts your mood and increases your energy.
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Lavender — Dispels negativity and opens the mind for spiritual growth
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Neroli — Keeps your mind in the present moment and release self-imposed restrictions.
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Ylang Ylang — Supports feelings of connection to the world around you.
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Lavender — Promotes emotional stability and dispels feelings of conflict or confusion.
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Clary Sage — Brings feelings of clarity and emotional stability.
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Pine — Promotes self-confidence, instills positivity, and supports clarity for mediation.
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Frankincense Serrata — Grounds and calms. Brings peace to the mind, allowing you to expand your thought.
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Peppermint— Promotes insight to truth and dispels pride.
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Cypress — Promotes confidence in your voice and opinion.
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Roman Chamomile — Supports listening to others and calm and gentle speaking.
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Rosemary— Promotes mental clarity and helps transform your thoughts into words.
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Blue Tansy — Calms the mind. Promotes emotional stability, flexibility, and renewal.
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Geranium—Brings feelings of worthiness and combats self-isolation.
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Copaiba — Dispels feelings of shame, guilt, regret, and self-loathing.
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Lime — Uplifts spirits and combats emotional fatigue. Helps calm an anxious heart.
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Spearmint — Uplifts the mood and promotes positivity. Combats emotional strain and disconnection
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Rose — Promotes love and joy. Promotes comfort and restores trust in others.
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Cedarwood — Promotes willpower and ambition
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Grapefruit — Brings feelings of optimism and spontaneity
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Sweet Marjoram — Promotes courage, confidence, and personal integrity
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Black Pepper — Helps strengthen your personal power
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Ginger Root — Encourages personal drive, motivation, and initiative
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Clary Sage — Brings feelings of worthiness.
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Cardamom — Promotes creativity and sensuality.
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Cinnamon Bark — Brings a sense of warmth and stimulates courage.
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Jasmine — Promotes love, joy, and harmony.
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Melissa — Calms tension and nerves
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Vetiver — Brings a deep sense of belonging, and grounds the body and mind.
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Myrrh— Revitalizes the body and brings emotional strength.
Social Rest
Are You An Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert? - QUIZ
As Adam Grant says in his Work Life podcast, produced by TED, "To work well with other people, you need to understand their personalities and they need to understand yours."
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